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Interview with Sean Gorman
(first published in Golly Gee #10, spring 2000)

1) What is your name?
Sean Gorman

2) Why are you here?
I don't want to join the Army, work at Taco Bell, or wear a suit and tie so I guess I'm just going to be awesome. I'm here to be cool.

3) Who's your favorite New Kid?
Sporty Spice

4) Who's your favorite Muppet?
Sam the Eagle by far

5) If you were a fruit or vegetable, what would you be?
An artichoke...harsh and prickly on the outside but soft and fulfilling on the inside.

6) What's in your wallet?
$14 in cash, my time card, my driver's license, a Tower Records video card, my bank card, a card that shows how much to tip waiters cause I can't do math, my Mastercard, a West Coast video membership card, My license to apply state regulated pesticides, a prayer to St. Joseph, my T pass, a Blockbuster membership card, a card for the place my computer is repaired at, a card from a stripper who does house calls, the security info for TPI (codes to close etc.), a condom, my health insurance card, my Metallica fan club membership card, a listing of all Boston radio stations, and my high school photo ID

7) What are your nicknames?
Unless "Gorman" counts...none.

8) What's your most notorious crack-smoking moment?
Okay. I guess it was in high school when one morning I was pissed because these goddamn minivan mothers were taking forever in the parking lot. So I gunned the gas and sped by them in the parking lot, hopped a curb, ran over grass, took down a stop sign, almost killed a group of people and totaled a parked Monte Carlo

9) What's the best thing about homies?
You can be yourself around them as opposed to your family members, which you always seem to be putting on an act (at least I do).

10) What's the best thing about Vanilla Ice?
He's a good model for anyone who has low self-esteem. They can look at him and say, "Well, at least I'm not Vanilla Ice."

11) What is your main aspiration in life?
Fortune and Fame. Who doesn't want that deal?

12) What's the best thing about college?
It's as close to fortune and fame us little people will ever experience...lots of time, very little responsibilities, sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

13) What's the best thing about the '80s?
Star Wars and Wrestling

14) If you were an insect, what would you be?
A Queen Bald Faced Hornet, Hornets are badass. I garnered this huge respect for them after killing them for so many years. They work like crazy, they're hard to kill, their sting fucking kills, and the queen is obviously the be all end all. By the way… those hornets look awesome too. They're black and white and their face looks like a Kabuki mask. (Sean is an exterminator during the summertime)

15) If you were to suddenly spontaneously combust, what would your last thought be of?
Well, I'll take this question as the last thought I just had because if you spontaneously combust than you SPONTANEOUSLY combust so my last thought would be (or was) that I'd like to have sex with you which correlates towards it's the end of the world what do you want to do and well, since you're here and I'm thinking of you...you came to mind.

16) Are you a cat or dog person?
Both. Dogs are good companions and cats are good friends.

17) What is your favorite type of book?
Ones with lots of pictures... No, um you know no matter how much highbrow literary stuff I read there will always be a place in my heart for celebrity autobiography

18) Which Monopoly piece do you use?
The Iron so I can stomp and burn the asses of those other motherfuckers on the board who think they're getting a piece of Baltic Avenue.

19) Name the phase you're in right now.
This is my Doctor Who/Pro Wrestling/Satanism/Heavy Metal phase which has been going on for about 10 years now

20) What's your favorite drink?
It all comes back to water.

21) What's your deal?
Gorman 3:16 says "If the truth hurts then I must be saying something right."

22) What's a CD people don't expect you to have?
Dwight Yoakham's Greatest Hits

23) What's the best mix tape you've made or could make?
I made a double mix tape for the 5 hour drive to Woodstock '99 that was the best driving music ever put onto a tape and also turned out to be really good baby makin' music too.

24) What would be the best concert lineup? (Five performers maximum)
Metallica, The Reverend Horton Heat, Aerosmith, Slayer and The original Guns N' Roses

25) How did you feel about doing this interview?
It was cool. It was like being famous for a while and if I knew I was going to spontaneously combust right now...I would certainly do you right here and now.


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