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Interview with Eliza and Kelsey
(first published in Golly Gee #4, September 1995)


 

1) What are your names?
Jesus and Holy Spook.

2) Why are you here?
Marissa said to come to this Friendly's.
Because Holy Spook said to.

3) Who's your favorite Muppet?
Elmo, 'cause he's great.
Dr. Teeth, he's just friggin' hip.

4) If you were a vegetable, what would you be?
Eggplant, they're just nice to look at, they're like little purple animals.
Rutabega, it's fun to say.

5) What are your nicknames?
Friggin' rad-ass hippie freak, Kelpsea, Liza-biza-boo, pussbucket, Eeahliza, Loser, Geek

6) What is your favorite cartoon?
The Simpsons

7) What are your favorite books?
A Prayer for Owen Meaney John Irving
Our Story: New Kids on the Block NKOTB
There's a Monster At the End of this Book Grover
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

8) Name something stupid and/or crazy you've done.
I sacrificed a sheep that I had found roaming in my bedroom.
I went to the zoo and kicked over all the penguins.

9) Who are the most idiotic people you know?
The Burls, Jed Morton, Sarah S.

10) Name something you'll do before you die.
Cough? I'll run naked through a field of laughing elephants, or I'll step on atom's face.
I'll buy a dress.

11) What's the best thing about high school?
pass
Dot Congleton

12) What color underwear are you wearing?
I'm not wearing any.
White with pink bows and blue flowers.

13) How did you feel about doing this interview?
orgasmic.
Fine, thank you.


 

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