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An Exhilerating Interview with My Brother
(first published in Golly Gee #1, December 1994)


 

1) How old are you?
13.

2) What is your purpose in life?
To become the best soccer player in the world... No, erase that. Assmunch! Hee hee hee. Stop! You're such an idiot. Um… Um… Tee hee. To play in the World Cup.

3) Why are you on this planet?
That is a question and a half. Why do you type everything I say? (Oh, Bubba!) Because God put me here.

4) Do you feel that God is male or female?
Male.

5) Why?
Because I see it in the books all the time.

6) What would you do if those books just said "God" as opposed to "He?"
I don't understand the question. (Dance like the Grind!)

7) Do you consider yourself a good dancer?
Yes. Because I can groove.

8) Define "groove."
Really moving to the music.

9) Who was your favorite character in The Muppets?
Gonzo.

10) Why?
Because he's hilarious. [It's] obvious.


 

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