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The Fifth Blog

Today

personal brain trailings

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I don't have any idea about what to do here...Let me tell you about my perspective..

The world that humans have created is a nasty place...We have tried to "conquer" the earth in many ways...deforestation...cultivation...herding (mass producing meat)...science (gene research is front in my mind at the moment)...we are so lost that we wage war against people and societies that are different...look down on the worse off...polute the air, water, land and sea in the name of mostly profit...it's enough to make someone insane...

In fact, I leave my house and see it everywhere, in people's driving, talking, consuming, its all aggressive, offensive and mean...when most drive, everyone else is the enemy...when we talk, we diss and diss...but what I see is extreme sadness...extreme fear...I see that behind all our nervous eyes, we are deeply sad, we want love, support and the freedom to be ourselves...but we are stuck in our minds that were created for us by our parents, churches, societies, communities, etc...we don't even know who we are under all these layers regulating us...so we act out in fear...fear to admit this, fear of giving into our sadness...we distract ourselves with consuming food, products, services, media...we find crumbs of support and love in talking shit with others who talk the same shit, root for the same team, have the same hates...we support ideas bigger than ourselves by supporting the desicions of government leaders to take us to war, repress the poor and destroy the natural habitats of the earth, and they set these horrid things into effect on behalf of corporations and investors who make HUGE profits...

It just goes on...and one can take this sadness and fear and place the blame on someone else...but that never ends, the hatred we use to destroy another just lives on elsewhere...we cannot "free" Iraq without another generation harvesting thier hatred towards us...

This is what is on my mind all the time...I would love to be a part of a revolution..to save the natural world at least! but perhaps i need a better mind set first...!!! I would like to make a declaration...

I, Matthew Laprade, Will not dwell unrealistically on issues bigger than me...I will change myself from my inside to my outside, till I know whether the external world is a reflection of my internal world or not. I will not stop looking inside myself and rearranging my filters till i can say for certain that it makes a different or not...never again shall I look at the world outside myself and wonder whether I should rebel, hide and wait, or change myself...I will make my best effort to change myself and the world that is within my reach...

If anyone has any input, please leave a comment...I want human interaction on a deeper level...I will do my best to be here now!

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