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Previous Blogs

Shadow: The
Man(Cat), the Myth,
the Beast. R.I.P.

June 14, 2006

The Return of
Anthony and Elise

June 1, 2006

Doug Photos
May 16, 2006

Mecca: Part III
May 10, 2006

Easter and
Jenna's Birthday

April 27, 2006

IKEA: The Return
April 16, 2006

Two Crafts
April 8, 2006

Haircut/War
March 28, 2006

Pancakes, Meat,
and other tales

March 21, 2006

IKEA=LOVE
March 14, 2006

Richard Dawkins
March 5, 2006

Attempts at
Relaxation

February 27, 2006

Trip to Ohio
February 16, 2006

Cat Show
February 12, 2006

The Game of Life
January 28, 2006

Survey and Victory
January 21, 2006

Pictures of Babies
January 17, 2006

A Buinicky is Born!
January 13, 2006

Holiday Wrap-Up
January 11, 2006

20 Best Photos
of 2005

December 31, 2005

The Travesty of
the Xmas Tree
Industry

December 24, 2005

Star Wars Exhibit
December 13, 2005

Hip-Hop
December 1, 2005

Turkey dinner!
November 21, 2005

The superiority of
Geeks/Nerds/Dorks

November 10, 2005

Halloween Party
October 30, 2005

Spirituality
October 23, 2005

Baptisms
FEMA video

October 17, 2005

Lewis Black
Mike's Birthday

October 13, 2005

Wedding Weekend
October 12, 2005

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Marissa's Blog!

June 21, 2006
 

Truly the Baddest Museum EVER

About a week ago, destiny led me to visit one of the most amazing art museums of our time. The day began with my parents and I taking a drive down to Boston to see Al Gore's film, An Inconvenient Truth (it wasn't playing in my immediate area). And because there was no parking at Coolidge Corner, where we had originally planned to view the film, Barbara (who was going to see it with us) suggested we traverse to the Dedham Community Theatre.

"Why does that name sound familiar?" I asked myself. And then it hit me.

The Dedham Community Theatre is the home to THE MUSEUM OF BAD ART!!! I had taken a pilgrimage there about two years ago and had laughed my fucking ass off. But the exhibits there change regularly, and I knew we were in for a special treat before seeing the movie.

As we descended the stairs of the theatre and entered the basement home of the gallery, a sign indicated that the current collection featured "Hackneyed Portraits." From the MOBA website: "Hackneyed Portraits highlights the wide range of treatments that bad artists bring to portraiture. This show is a tribute to 'David Hockney Portraits' at the Museum of Fine Art in Boston." The captions listed below were all written by members of the MOBA staff, with my comments inserted in italics, but the art truly speaks for itself. Enjoy! :)
 

March Madness
Adam Leveille, 1996
16"x20", Oil on canvas

In like a lion, out like a lamb, the glorious thrill of victory and the deathlike agony of defeat are portrayed in this homage to the annual spring classic.


 

The Actor

That receding hairline means he is no longer suited to the Jesus roles to which he once aspired. Even the "Da Vinci Code" sensation can't save his career now.

In Her Boudoir
John Sepese
Oil and makeup on board

This sultry portrayal of beauty in a peignoir is all the more arresting considering the artist's choice of materials. Apart from the oil pastel background, the entire work was completed using the contents of his girl friend's makeup bag.

Note the Men's Room sign in the upper righthand corner. The entire museum is located in a room that leads to the men's bathroom. It's PERFECT. :D


 

Drool Bunny in Oktober
Robert McBroom
Submitted by the artist

The Creator, angry that Mom dressed him as a bunny, fears Mad Cow disease mutated, not to humans, but rabbits. Either way, this is a warning to stay at home on Halloween night.

This was Barbara's favorite. :)


 

King Cat
Joanne, 1974
Mixed Media
Donated by Chuck Forbush

Michael Bolton meets Simba in this tenderly wrought study. Whipped cream stands up in peaks on the upper lip, recalling that this king of the beasts was once a kitten. Tiny chartreuse highlights around the deftly executed pupils remind us that the kitten has grown up and taken his place as a superstar among the beasts.

This one totally goes out to Elise, who not only appreciates MOBA as much as I do, but also shares a similar love/hate relationship with Michael Bolton. :D


 

Lady Chardonnay
Artist unknown
Oil on canvas
Acquired from trash by Scott Wilson

A mystery centers around gravity in this gyroscopic portrayal of one bitchin' dancer.

Portrait of the Artist as a Blue Man
Anonymous
12"x7.5", Painted on pine (1x8 lumber)

The famous author is depicted in a realistic, if slightly hydrocephalic, manner against a psychedelic background. His bow tie appears to be an afterthought.

Superstar
Illegible
Approximately 11"x13"
Silver, black, and white paint on wood


 

Id and Ego of Gina
Gina
20"x28", Oil on canvas
purchased at a flea market near Northampton, MA
Donated by M. J. Maccardini and Erin Howe

Frightening non-kosher demons haunt this blonde, blue-eyed beauty in a see-through blouse.

This was my father's favorite piece.


 

Hey! Over There!

"Harold... HAROLD!"
"What? What do you want?"
"Are we taking this stupid picture or what? Pay attention. And fix your tie."
"Look, they got ice cream over there. Wouldn't some rocky road be nice, honey? Yes. Yes I think it would."
Sigh, "Harold, look at me. Look at me Harold. Right here, I'm right here. Please look at me. HAROLD LOOK AT ME! FIX YOUR DAMN TIE!"
"I like rocky ro— Wow! Mabel what a nice flower."
"Harold, I—oh, thank you, but Harold, I need you to pay attention now, okay? Can we fix your tie? I'm—Harold, now, no hitting. You touch me one more time and I'll take you down so fast you'll..."
"Wouldn't you like some rocky road, Mabel?"
"I don't want to hear another pip about freaking rocky road. You hear me?"
"Okay, you guys. I'm just about ready here. I'm gonna need you to look right up here and when I say 'Cheese" I really want to see that love, alright? Great."
"Look at the camera, Harold."
"One."
"HAROLD! Don't look at me. Stop looking at me, Harold, and look at the damn camera! Harold, the camera!"
"Two."
"Mabel, honey, let's get some—"
"Do you want this to be nice you son of a—? Harold, do you want this stupid picture to be..."
"Three"
"...nice for your sister? Now smile, damn it. And mean it or you are so..."
"Cheese!" Click.
"I thought we were getting some rocky road?"

This text was written by MOBA Volunteer Interpreter Stephen Haske.


 

Glamour Is Forever
Unknown
Mixed Media on Canvas
Donated by Caroline Crescenzi

As another relationship fails, the artist reaches deep within until he makes contact with his inner Barbie.

It was the feathers stuck to the bottom of this painting to make the dress that made this one my mother's favorite.


 

Self Portrait as a Drainpipe
Miranda
11"x22", Tempura paint on cardboard
Found in trash by Mike Frank

Who knows what moves someone to portray herself as a plumbing fixture? (See Self-Portrait as a Bird)


 

Self Portrait As a Bird
Rebecca Harris
Pastel on Paper
Donated by the Artist

I'd rather be a sparrow then Glee sparkles from Ms. Harris' eyes in this joyful evolutionary essay.

NOTE: This piece was the subject of a blackmail attempt. Unknown persons stole the piece, then demanded a ransom of $10. When MOBA's principled and frugal Board of Directors refused to pay up, the felons eventually returned the painting, along with a donation of $10. (See Self-Portrait as a Drainpipe)

I have no idea why these two painting reference each other. :D
 

Heather Come Hither
Bianka
24"x30", oil on canvas

Larger than life, she purrs with her eyes open wide in anticipation, "Hello beautiful." Bianka integrated the warped smile to emphasize Heather's studied smoldering stare.

My favorite. For obvious reasons. :D


 

Queen of the Chocolate Chip
Christian
Watercolor
Acquired from yard sale

A comment on the incongruity of royalism at the close of the second millennium. The formality of the pose contrasts with the laissez faire attitude of Her Majesty, caught mid-chew, as she sports a jaunty beret in preference to her emerald encrusted crown. We are, in fact, amused.

Best caption EVER!


 

Coming soon... photos from my 10-year high school reunion! Oh the excitement! :D

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