Bucket

Anthony fucking Caruso (you have to say it like that, for real) came home like the prodigal son a couple of weeks ago. He managed to get some time off from his schwanky (read: fetching Midol for Xtina Skankulera and buying cheap swill for P. Diddy with P. Diddy's credit card) job at the record studio, and came home to the warm, soothing, warming glow of the Seabrook Nuclear Power Plant. And he also managed to take some time out to go get shitty with Jay Kean in Boston, and get some dinner at The Friendly Toast in Portsmouth with Zack Stone and I.

I got a delicious Matt #2 sandwich, which I've been craving ever since, and we traded stories about various Saint Thomas Aquinas High School students who were once Boy Scouts and are now crazy meth heads out in San Diego (some details have been changed to protect the innocent).

After the Toast, we headed over to the Coat of Arms for some drinks, and Jess Lamattina and her boyfriend Joel met us over there for a bit. Good times were had by all. :) It's too bad Anfernee doesn't visit more often, he is friggin hilarious! But soon, soon he will finish building his studio, and will record many successful bands far and wide, and will reap the benefits and become a famous producer and/or rock star!

In other news, Randy and I took our first hike up Blue Job this year, not long after it stopped raining (I only wish I had taken pictures of that rain, so some of you non-New Englanders could see just how fucking insane it was). I broke in my new hiking backpack that my parents gave me for Xmas, and we had a really nice time. The weather was perfect, it kept looking like it was going to rain, and the wind blew and blew, but it never rained. It was a refreshing, cool breeze. It was cloudy for the whole hike, which was fine, it wasn't as hot that way, except for when we reached the summit, when the sun came out just so I could take pictures! :) Good times! I'm hoping to hike Blue Job and Agamenicus enough so that I can make it up Mount Major without feeling like I'm going to fucking die by the end of the summer. Cross your fingers for me! :)

Long, long ago, maybe ten years ago I'd say, we had a gorgeous, huge lilac bush next to our garage at my parents' house. Whenever my mother's friends would visit, they would comment on how huge and gorgeous this lilac bush was. It was as tall as the garage and almost as wide. And it smelled heavenly.

Then one day, my dad decided that he was going to trim a few flowers off of the lilac bush. Soon, he brought in a handful of freshly cut lilac flowers and gave them to my mother. She put them in a vase and placed them in the center of the kitchen table. We then commented on what beautiful, and nice-smelling lilac flowers they were.

Then Dad brought in another bunch of flowers, and Mom put those in a vase and put them on the mantle in the living room. Again, we commented on how lovely they were, and how they cheered up the room nicely.

And then Dad brought yet another bunch, and another, and another, ("and a sister and a brother"... Quiet, Slick Rick!) and before you knew it, the house was filled with lilacs! The smell was overpoweringly wonderful! And at this moment, my mother commented to my dad that she hoped he wasn't cutting TOO much off of the lilac bush.

I would like to think that at this moment, my dad's face went white, and he tried to hide his shame and said "no of course not". But I think it went more like Dad got defensive and said "No way!" and then brought in bunches more flowers.

Needless to say, he fucking killed Mom's prized lilac bush, to the point, and I am not exaggerating AT ALL, that the thing was now about three feet high and looked more like Charlie Brown's Xmas tree than a lilac bush.

So for Mother's Day this year, I bought her a new lilac plant, to replace the one Dad killed. And she was very happy about that. And Dad is not allowed to touch the thing, EVER! :D

Elise DeVito is in a Ph.D. program at Cambridge in England and usually only comes home about once a year at Xmas to see her family. Luckily, her friend Kate decided to get married, so Elise had to return to Ye Olde Eliot. I know how hard it is for her, returning to Ye Olde Eliot, because Eliot is just so friggin' cool that once you're there, you NEVER want to leave! I told Elise to make sure Phil, her boyfriend, isn't exposed to too much of Eliot's coolness at once or he might not want to go back to England ever again! Eliot truly is a magical place. What with the Meat Market, the Grange Hall, Eliot ELEM (it is NOT Eliot Elementary, if you notice there is no period after "ELEM"), the fine imported homies (Eliot doesn't have real homies, we have to import them so we get more street cred, yo), ... the Grange Hall ... But I digress.

I met Elise and Phil and Tom at the Coat of Arms not two weeks after going there with Anthony and Zack. Elise and Anthony just barely missed each other! It was the first time I got to meet Phil (Elise's boyfriend), and he fucking rules. We bonded over our love of Bon Jovi ("Livin' On A Prayer" is his karaoke song, and "You Give Love A Bad Name" is my cell phone ringtone). He confirmed that IKEA is NOT the Wal-Mart of Europe, and said that his dad owns many Heinemann books (his dad is a math teacher). We got along splendidly!

Tom's friends Roisin and Anna were there as well, with their dad, and they are all awesome. They also know of Heinemann, which made me feel good. I love my job. We all bonded over our love of our New England roots, because nowhere else in the country can you feel as comfortable walking around in your pajamas with shaggy eyebrows. Word.

Here is Tom and a gentleman with a mohawk who was recently engaged and I THINK getting married that weekend, and I should know his name, but I don't, and for that I am sorry. But his mohawk is quite enviable. It also makes me pine for my once-pink hair. But alas, Heinemann is allowing me to interact with customers now, so pink hair I cannot have. Oh well. C'est la vie!

Tom is friggin' hilarious. He will be "that guy" at my wedding. You know, the one who gets all drunk and beligerent. Because that's what Tom does best! :)

After two straight weeks of rain, the sun sure looks good, doesn't it? I took this in the park next to Heinemann, where I was reading while waiting for Randy to get out of work the other day...

What was I reading? Why "Nothing's Sacred" by Lewis Black of course! Yes, THE Lewis Black from The Daily Show fame. Who I am going to see live at the oh-so-classy Hampton Beach Casino Ballroom again in August. Oh and I have one spare ticket. Now you may battle over who will get this ticket.

Lastly, I leave you with what is quite possibly the funniest comic I've seen in a very long time. I have no idea who is responsible for this, but to whoever thought of it, I commend you!

Summer is here! Woohoo!!! :)

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