Bucket

Doug made the rather unwise decision of enlisting my help (via Randy) in getting some pictures for him to post of himself at Match.com since the most recent photos he posesses of himself are:

His driver's license photo

His Portsmouth Naval Shipyard I.D. Badge.

Ah, Doug, you should've known better! :D

In this photo, Doug is on the left. It's an okay shot that I took at Adam and Jen's wedding last year. Granted, you can only see the side of his face, but it looks like he's making a funny joke. Sure, Adam could be laughing AT him as opposed to WITH him, but that's besides the point. This photo shows:

Doug might be funny

Doug has friends

Doug goes to weddings

Doug owns a suit (yes ladies, this is good to know up front, trust me :D).

But let's say Doug would rather post a more casual shot of himself.

Here is a photo of Doug that I took at my Halloween party this year. We don't need to rehash the fact that he didn't wear a costume to my party (Alec Baldwin's gay stunt double does NOT count as a costume :D). Unfortunately, he's not looking at the camera, but it could qualify as a "candid" shot, right? :)

This photo shows:

Doug can read

Doug occasionally wears pants

Perhaps Doug reads to children? Eh? Eh? :D Okay, it's a stretch.

So maybe he'd rather go with an image that shows more about his personality.

How's this one? The cropping is totally my doing, but it cracks me up. :D

In this one we see that:

Doug might have a sense of humor

Doug's friends DEFINITELY have a sense of humor, and who you hang out with reflects on you of course

Look, Doug is wearing pants again! Yay! :D

Doug may or may not enjoy the Evil Dead films

Ash rules!

Too goofy?

Back to the more formal options then. This one may, at first glance, seem like the obvious choice. But what does this one show???

Doug might be a recovering priest

Doug drinks beer

Doug appears to be serious

Doug might be at a funeral

Doug might be normal. Might be. :D

This was the only picture Randy actually remembered that we had when he was on the phone with Doug earlier today. It's cropped from a picture of Doug, Mike, Jenna, and Jason that we have framed in our living room. I took it at my birthday party way back in 2004, the first birthday party after I had gotten together with Randy and met all of them. Yay. Definitely not a bad shot of Doug, apart from it being a little blurry.

Here we learn:

Doug owns a black suede shirt (but not necessarily blue suede shoes)

Doug has a friend who uses PhotoShop badly :D

Doug knows someone with a very loud patterned shirt.

Now, here are the pictures there's no way in hell Doug is posting on Match.com, but I have to share because they are hilarious. And honestly, he should post them, because they are hilarious. :D

I happen to know that Doug loves this photo, because he posed for it this way, but does any potential date want someone who is going to make a weak attempt at looking down their shirt? Probably not. At least put some effort into it, sheesh. :D

Here we ask ourselves:

Is this Doug's ex? (FYI: No, it's Jenna :D)

Is Doug sneezing?

Is Doug drunk?

Does any of that matter? :D

Moving on. Here are Jenna and Doug again at Adam and Jen's wedding. Doug was pretending to be Jenna's date at this point, because Jason was off making his now-famous best man speech. :)

Here we learn:

Doug is a cheeseball :D

Doug might be humorous, since the gal in the photo is laughing, but again, she could be laughing AT and not WITH! :D

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

And now you know why I hold onto bad photos like this one! Just for this very purpose! :D

Sorry, that was mean, but you had to share in my laugh after seeing this one again when searching through my pictures from last year. This one also has good memories since it was taken on the day Mike made his famous mouse pad—I mean—CAKE. :D

What we learn:

Doug uses pepper (this is significant, believe it or not :D)

Doug eats

Doug eats what appears to be meat AND vegetables.

And last we have the photo that pops up on my phone whenever Doug calls (or it would anyway, if that function on my phone worked properly, but I digress). :D

This one gets my vote to be his featured profile shot on Match.com. Not only is it hilarious on a number of levels, it's actually not unflattering! :)

And what do we learn here?

Doug drinks Corona

Doug loves Corona

Doug has a sense of humor

Doug owns a suit

Doug owns a beard trimmer.

Eh? Eh? What do you all think? Cast your votes for your favorite photo now in the Comments!

P.S. Good luck on your search, Doug! :)

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